Culturally speaking, love, acceptance, and tolerance are rather hot-button issues right now.

It is of course a very natural thing to want to feel accepted, loved, and welcomed in society. Nobody wants to feel like an outcast, or to be treated as though they don't matter. And frankly, I detest anybody who publicly shames, bullies, or creates emotional trauma to another individual.

However – I also reject the premise that we must love and accept everybody, no matter how bizarre or misguided, just because society tells us we are supposed to. That is a terrible, and dangerous precedence to set.

The unfortunate truth is, we have collectively, as a society, lost our understanding of what true love and kindness is, as well as our ability to hear harsh truths.

Instead of lovingly telling people what they need to hear for their own good, we settle for saying nothing, or worse, telling them that they should keep doing what is leading to their destruction.

Instead of recognizing that people who tell us harsh truths are ultimately looking out for us – we instead seek the support of people too cowardly to tell us the truth and reinforce our false beliefs about ourselves, and convince ourselves that the truth-tellers are actually haters.

I don't care what anybody says – telling somebody who is grossly overweight that they should love themselves as they are, is not love. It is the opposite of love. It is sending them directly to a life of pain, disease, loneliness, and likely death. We should be lovingly encouraging them to make changes. Instead, we tell them to embrace it, and put cute hashtags next to their photos that say #BigAndBeautiful and #LoveYourself.

Can you imagine how inhumane and cruel it would be to tell somebody with anorexia "You're right. You do look fat. You should get liposuction! #NeverTooThin #FatFree." And yet – any time we affirm somebody's delusions or avoid being truthful with them, we become accomplices in their misery.

Indeed, we see this behavior across all forms of sin. Instead of encouraging people to flee from their homosexual desires – we tell them it's fine, legalize gay marriage, and promote the false idea that "love is love".

Instead of rejecting transgender peoples delusions, we not only encourage it – but attempt to pass laws that practically "force" kids into it. Never-mind the fact that 82% of transgender individuals have considered suicide, and 40% have attempted it. This isn't love! This isn't kindness!

I remember at my last job, before I started my own business – early in my tenure there, I am embarrassed to admit that had a very poor work ethic. A poor work ethic that carried over from my job before that. I was used to putting in the bare minimum, and that being okay. Until one day, when my boss had a frank discussion with me – that my work wasn't meeting standards, and that I needed to step it up.

It was hard hearing that. I was immediately defiant, and wanted to snap back. More than that, I wanted to quit, and go somewhere where I was more appreciated.

Had I told this to my friends at the time, there is no doubt my complaints would have fallen on sympathetic ears. They would likely have said encouraging things such as “I don’t know what they’re talking about! Your work looks good to me!” Or “Dude, don’t sweat it… he was probably just in a bad mood.” In other words – I don’t need to change. My boss does.

Bitter though I might have been at the time – I now see it as a blessing that I have a wife who was willing to ask the question: "is there any truth to what he’s saying?"

And, I begrudgingly had to admit... there was.

My work got better after that. I made a vow to myself that I would never again be accused of having a poor work ethic.

The point I am trying to make here is simply this: if that hadn’t happened… if my boss hadn't been truthful with me, or my wife hadn't agreed with him – my life would look radically different than it does now.

If I had been soft, and decided to shut out the negative criticism, and only listen to the people who, in good intentions, were telling me what I wanted to hear – it would have robbed me of the life that I now have.

I would not have had the grit to start my own business, or put in 80-hour weeks in the months leading up to it. I also would not have cultivated the skills that I now have from putting in the work.

So, while I’m sure it wasn’t “fun” for my boss to have to tell me that my work was sub-par… nor was it fun for my wife to take his side in that moment… the long-term result was well worth it.

Unfortunately, these are increasingly rare conversations. Both being able to speak the truth to people, and being able to hear the truth when it is spoken about you.

It's gotten so bad, that for many people, in addition to feeling like they shouldn't have to change... having acceptance, love, and tolerance is still not enough.

In a "self" obsessed society, people also want to feel "special". This makes perfect sense, of course. When people reject God and His authority, they will usually create god's out of something else. Most often, themselves. They become their own God. And, when you put all of your attention and focus on yourself, it is not a far leap to understand why people begin to feel a need to be recognized as "special".

When you are so self-focused and self-obsessed... it naturally becomes concerning when other people don't share your enthusiasm for yourself. So, despite having friends, coworkers or, family members who love and support you – the ante needs to be upped. Suddenly, you decide that you are transgender. Or gay. Or some other letter in the ever-growing acronym that I refuse to give credence to.

It is a perfect hypocrisy. People decide that they shouldn't have to change, or work hard, or do something with their lives. In other words, they are utterly unremarkable, because they have done nothing worth remarking on. And then become depressed and saddened that nobody finds them remarkable. And so, they latch on to anything they possibly can, in order to feel "special" or "remarkable" to the world again.

This is, of course, a great tragedy, for several reasons.

For starters, if they knew who they were in Christ – they wouldn't give a second thought as to whether the rest of the world finds them remarkable or not.

But, perhaps more importantly, Christians can embrace the truth that the most-high God... the creator and king of the universe, knows them by name, and is using them in the masterpiece that He is creating.

I think it's interesting that as humans, we get excited when we receive a glimpse of "fame" or even recognition from somebody else who is famous. And yet, we trivialize and think nothing of the fact that God, who holds a station higher than the highest king, ruler, or politician, knows us far more intimately than we even know ourselves. A fact that "should" rightfully terrify us.

Imagine that you were tasked with doing a job (whatever your profession might be) for Tim Cook (the CEO of Apple). Or the Queen of England. Or, really anybody who has the potential to see your work, and even give it a shout-out. Would you not give it your best? Would you not put forth every effort to make it so that when they saw it, they would be impressed (or at the very least, accepting) of your work?

That is exactly the spot that Christians are in. Our work is to bring glory to God. We don't glorify Him by just uttering the phrase "All glory to God". We glorify Him by being exceptional at whatever it is that we do. This is Biblical.

Colossians 3:23-24 tells us "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Hard work is good. Hard work is Holy. And when we settle for less than our best, or worse, become comfortable with being unremarkable – it is in open defiance to who God created us to be. Similarly, as Christians, we are compelled to be truthful and honest with each other. When one's work or self-beliefs are misguided, misaligned, or in poor judgement, the greater love and kindness is not to affirm it, or to turn a blind eye to it. The greater love is to address it, knowing in full confidence that something better lies on the other side.

¹⁰ For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always right and good for us because it means we will share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it is quite painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

¹² So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. ¹³ Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong."

Hebrews 12: 10-12